10 Signs You Need Couple Counselling

The term couple counselling comes with a stigma. However, it has been normalised recently, as people have realised that relationships should include both ups and downs to function normally. Therefore, counselling can be a healthy decision to identify the current problems and work on them.

Are you confused about identifying the signs that you need couples counselling? This article will give you detailed insights into these.

While you can always go for couple counselling, it is better to identify the right time and opportunity. Here are a few signs you must not miss for getting couple counselling.

1. Lack of Communication

It is the most critical sign that your relationship is having problems. Communication between partners is the key to a healthy relationship, even if they fight and argue. Once you stop talking and sharing your thoughts and ideas with each other, you will experience more unresolved fights and distance.

If there is a lack of communication, you will avoid discussing the problems you face in the relationship. It will build up resentment and unspoken issues. Moreover, it will also cause misunderstanding, as your partner might misinterpret the things you say or do and vice versa.

2. Regular Fights and Arguments

As much as communication is essential for a healthy relationship, constant fighting and bickering might also signify that you need relationship counselling. Usually, arguments and fights are common between partners when they are living together. However, the problem becomes visible when they fight for anything and everything in life.

In most cases, therapists find that the couples who come for counselling experience arguments that usually go unresolved. Instead, they deal with pent-up anger and frustration, which they might express in a passive-aggressive manner. If you experience such issues with your partner, it is time to get some counselling.

3. Challenges in Coexistence

When you and your partner are not on the same page about anything, you might find it extremely challenging to coexist with each other. Usually, a couple living together tend to coexist by dining, sleeping, socialising and having fun together. However, if the problems start growing, you might feel like you are living with a roommate, not a partner.

As a result, separate living styles will be inevitable. You will find it dreadful to plan anything with your partner, and vice versa. Moreover, you might feel a subtle pressure and fear of going out with your partner in public, worrying about the possibility of fights. It is a sign that you need to go for counselling.

4. Persistent Issues in Relationship

As you probably know, relationships cannot exist without problems and issues. The ideal way to handle them is through communication, trying to resolve them to benefit both partners. However, if you notice the same problems persisting in your relationship, it means you need counselling.

For instance, you might have a problem with your partner's decision regarding matters involving you. However, you will notice that your partner is not making any amends to help your case. This means that the issue will persist, and you will probably keep fighting about it.

5. Financial Difficulties

If you are undergoing financial challenges with your partner, be careful not to let it hamper your relationship. In many cases, couples fight over their financial status and the disparity between incomes and expenses. As money is an essential requirement for living, hiding your financial condition or being dishonest about it will not help.

Apart from that, you might end up having fights regarding excessive expenses and discussing ways to split the money effectively. Moreover, anxieties about not having a sufficient economy to run a house take a toll on the mental health of partners, causing them to fight and argue about this issue.

6. Different Goals and Expectations

It is essential for partners to be on the same page and have similar goals in a relationship. They are bound to have fights and differences if they have different aspirations and expectations. For instance, if one wishes to focus on the relationship and the other one needs more time to build a career, the relationship might start suffering.

Moreover, it is essential to ensure that both partners want the same things from the relationship. The problem again arises with a lack of clear communication, where partners fail to discuss the expectations they might have from each other. As a result, they will have more fights and fail to maintain a healthy bond.

7. Lack of Intimacy

Sexual and romantic intimacy between the partners is again essential when it comes to maintaining a healthy relationship. While the level of intimacy might change and fluctuate with time, you can clearly identify a lack of interest from both ends regarding sexual intimacy if you face relationship problems.

Intimacy needs usually differ on an individual level. If you are dissatisfied, you can start by discussing the same with your partner. However, if you notice a persistent lack of interest, passion and chemistry, it signifies relationship problems. Instead of getting frustrated over this, consider visiting a couple's counsellor.

8. Possibilities of Infidelity

It is the last stage of relationship problems, where either one or both partners look elsewhere for romantic or intimate development outside the current relationship. It develops from a long-term detachment and lack of intimacy with the current partner. Consider such options if you are unhappy and dissatisfied with your relationship.

It can be challenging to find out about the infidelity choices of a partner if he/she decides to cheat. However, the best option here is to come out clean with your partner and eliminate the shame and guilt. Instead, it would help if you tried to gain his/her support in improving the relationship with the help of a counsellor.

9. A Lack of Trust

Every relationship has some sort of secret, and there is nothing wrong with trying to maintain privacy. However, if there are excessive secrets, hidden truths and dishonesty, it will start affecting the relationship. These include hidden friendships, dishonesty on financial expenses and lies regarding specific events.

It will cause both partners to realise that something is going wrong with the relationship, which will eventually cause a lack of trust among them. As a result, they will no longer feel motivated to work on the relationship, and the level of communication will likely drop even further.

10. Major Life Changes

A significant change or life transition can also cause couples problems and complications. These might include buying a house, moving to a new place, giving birth, suffering from a severe illness, making a career change, etc. These changes affect the lives of both partners, which might cause some problems in future.

These changes might come with additional work pressure and responsibilities, causing partners to fail to invest time in developing the relationship. Constant stress and pressure cause them to fight and argue regularly. Here, it can be helpful to consider a relationship counselling option.

Going for couples counselling online or face-to-face can be highly beneficial for couples facing major relationship problems. Here are some of the benefits that make such counselling sessions extremely important.

• Understand Relationship Dynamics: The best part of couple counselling is that it helps you understand the relationship dynamics. For example, you can determine if anyone is more dominating or if there are any toxic traits in the current situation. It also helps you identify the exact problems and determine whether or not you are at fault.
• Provide a Safe Space: Usually, you tend to share some of the most private and intimate moments of your life with your partner. Sharing these to seek remedies for problems can be scary, as you have to be completely vulnerable and honest. It becomes easier with professional couple counselling, which is entirely safe. There is no fear of judgement or disclosure of information.
• Consider Each Other’s Perspective: You might struggle to understand situations from the perspective and viewpoint of your partner during fights and vice versa. Therefore, it increases the level of fights, arguments and distance. However, with couple counselling, you get to understand your partner's mentality and viewpoint, which allows you to cut him/her some slacks and makeup after fights.
• Learn Coping Mechanisms: Relationships are filled with ups and downs. However, if you are not aware of coping skills, you will not be able to handle the problems efficiently. With a few counselling sessions, you will be able to learn some effective coping skills and mechanisms, which will help you handle some minor problems and maintain a healthy relationship.
• Restore Trust and Intimacy: Losing trust and intimacy is one of the biggest problems arising from regular fights and distance between partners. It can permanently hamper your relationship and overall mental health. With couple counselling, you will clearly see the difference. The exercises and activities will help you understand your partner better and restore trust and intimacy.
• Clear Communication: As discussed earlier, a lack of communication can hamper relationships. Fights and lack of intimacy cause a distance between the partners, which prevents them from communicating clearly. Therapy and counselling sessions will help you regain the lost connection and therefore ensure better and more transparent communication in the future.
• Identify Feelings and Vision: A counselling session will help you clarify your thoughts, feelings and overall vision regarding your relationship. For example, if you are unaware of your goals, you might be unhappy with your partner's decisions that do not satisfy your needs. Once you have a clearer vision and feelings, you can discuss them with your partner and make vital changes.
• Improve Personal Growth: A relationship should not stand in the way of your personal growth and development. You might become frustrated if your relationship prevents your growth or reduces your personal space. With a couple counselling, you get to improve your conflict resolution skills and focus on other factors besides your partner to ensure steady growth.

While couple counselling is a service you get in exchange for time and money, you must consider some preparation before considering this option. Here are some steps to prepare for such counselling before attending a session.

1. Identify the Need for Counselling

The first step is to identify if your relationship is having problems and if the problems are serious enough for counselling. Also, make sure you wish to work for the relationship and improve it from the grass root level.

2. Talk to Your Partner

If you decide to go for couple counselling, you need your partner's consent and support for this. Talk to him/her, and explain the requirement for considering counselling. Discuss the benefits and convince your partner to attend these sessions with you.

3. Search for a Couple Counsellor

It is essential to find a suitable and professional couple counsellor for utilising the sessions properly. Various helpful websites include detailed descriptions of the counsellor's bios with reviews. You can access these with your partner and choose the right counsellor for your case.

4. Clear Your Schedule for the Appointment

Once you have chosen your counsellor and booked an appointment, you can clear your schedule and keep that date in mind. Make sure that both you and your partner are free on that particular day and will be able to reach the session on time.

5. Mentally Prepare Yourself to Share Personal Details

Sharing personal and intimate details about your relationship is never easy. It might feel like an encroachment of privacy. However, remember that it will be essential for you to share such details with your therapist to gain insights regarding your current issues and work on them. Therefore, be mentally prepared to open up and be vulnerable before your counsellor.

6. Commit Your Time and Reflect on the Sessions

After each session, you need to take time and reflect on the things that were discussed. You can also take notes when the counsellor discusses the issues. Moreover, both you and your partner need to invest time to complete the exercises and all the sessions. This will ensure the success of this counselling.

Therefore, couple counselling can be a common requirement for couples and partners living together. It is better to avoid associating it with any stigma or judgement. Nevertheless, do not hesitate to consider counselling if you notice the signs discussed above. As this article points out, such a session has multiple benefits and can help maintain a healthier relationship.