How to Say Comforting Words for Serious Illness to Family?

One of the worst things about knowing about terminal illness is to tell it to the family. You might be addressing the family having a terminally sick person, or you are the one suffering from it. Whatever be the scenario, this sensitive matter makes it challenging to approach.

You know they’ll be more than heartbroken, but there’s nothing to do. While doing so, it is crucial to pick the right comforting words for serious illness since not all critical illnesses lead to demise. It is significant to convey and understand that even though it is devastating to have this news, there still lies hope.

Before speaking, it’s important to understand what the family may be going through. A serious illness brings a wave of emotions, including:

• Shock and Denial - They may struggle to accept the diagnosis
• Fear and Anxiety - Worries about the future, treatment and financial costs
• Sadness and Grief - Feeling the loss of normal life and health
• Hope and Strength - Finding ways to cope and stay strong

Recognising these emotions will help you offer words that truly comfort rather than unintentionally cause more distress.

During these trying times, standing beside the family of the terminally sick person is the most you can do to make them feel warm. It is possible that both the terminally sick person and the family members go through an emotional roller coaster.

Your words should provide reassurance, emotional support, and a sense of hope. Here is how to do it:

Express Empathy and Support

Empathy means putting yourself in their shoes and acknowledging their feelings. Instead of saying, “I know how you feel”, which may not be true, try:

• “I can’t imagine how hard this must be for you, but I want you to know I’m here for you.”
• “I am so sorry you’re going through this. You don’t have to go through it alone.”
• “If there is anything you need, please let me know. I truly want to help.”

Offer Words of Encouragement

People facing serious illness and their families need encouragement to stay strong. However, avoid toxic positivity (e.g., “Just stay positive”), which can feel dismissive. Instead, try:

• “I admire your strength, and I believe in you.”
• “You have so many people who love and care about you.”
• “No matter what happens, we will face this together.”

It’s important to be hopeful but also realistic. Avoid saying things like “You’re going to be fine” unless it’s medically certain. Instead, say:

• “I hope for the best for you and your family.”
• “You are in the best hands, and I trust the doctors to do everything they can.”
• “No matter what happens, you are deeply loved.”

Acknowledge Their Strength and Resilience

Families facing a serious illness often feel exhausted. Remind them of their inner strength with phrases like:

• “You’ve shown so much courage, and I admire you for that.”
• “You’re handling this with incredible strength, even if it doesn’t feel like it.”
• “It’s okay to have tough days. You don’t have to be strong all the time.”

Offer Practical Help

Families may struggle with daily tasks. Offer specific help instead of saying “Let me know if you need anything.” Try:

• “Can I bring you dinner this week?”
• “I’d love to help with grocery shopping or errands.”
• “Would it help if I babysit the kids for a few hours?”

Be Present and Respect their Needs

Help Ease Financial Worries

Medical treatments can be expensive, adding stress to an already difficult time. If a person has term insurance which covers expenses like medical bills, debts, and daily living costs you can gently discuss financial planning. Here are some ways to approach the conversation:

• “I'm so sorry you are going through this. I was thinking, have you looked into how your term insurance might help with some of these expenses?”
• “How about we sit down together and go through your term insurance policy? We can also create a budget to see where you might be able to save or get additional support.”

If they don't have a term insurance policy, here are some ways to start the conversation:

• “I know this is a tough time, and I don’t want to add stress, but if you ever want to talk about ways to ease financial worries, I’d be happy to help.”
• “I know this must be incredibly difficult for you. If there’s anything I can do to help, please let me know.”
• “I know medical costs and other expenses can be a big concern. Have you been able to find any financial support options? Would you like help looking into some resources?”

Situations might arise where you are the terminally ill person and you have to convey it to the family. It is significant to take into consideration the right time and the proper words while informing your family about a critical illness. Staying amidst all this, it somewhat becomes your responsibility to evoke hope by using comforting words for the family of the terminally ill.

• Tell a Close Person if Needed

If you feel like not having the courage to bring the news, you can always ask for help. However, it might make you feel better to tell this to someone close before. You might also consider telling a certain group while another person conveys the message to the rest of the people. What matters is that you have to stay there when people face the news.

• Bring the Family Together

Bringing the whole family together while conveying the news is helpful since it’ll make them have each other’s comfort. It might be devastating or so shocking for someone that they might not react at all. Moreover, they will be comforted that you are there at least at that moment. Hence doing this in person is most effective since receiving comfort is the main thing.

• Prepare Yourself for Any Kind of Reaction

Suffering from a terminal illness can not only be disheartening but might also be shocking for that person. Hence it is significant to make sure that you are standing on well-settled ground before approaching friends and family.

However, once said it is unknown how different people will react. Hence it is better to stay prepared from the beginning for any kind of reaction that might follow.

It is relevant to address children differently on this matter since they might take some time to understand the situation. However, it varies in their age and intellectual ability depending on which they can grasp it. 

Following are some points to understand while moving forth with this idea:

• Progress as Per Their Age

Children grow their understanding ability depending on age. It is different for children who are pre-schoolers, elementary schoolers and teenagers. Children below 5 years have the least ability to grasp the idea and need proper explaining. 

This is different for children above 5 years but below 12 years. They carry this intellectual ability. Teenagers know clearly about this but facing it, in reality, can be different. Hence keeping these in mind before addressing them with it is relevant. 

• Explain It Simply and Patiently

The key is to approach them patiently by explaining everything in the simplest language possible. It depends on how they understand it better. 

You can also include them in any treatment procedure to let them slowly normalise the idea of moving away. However, whatever approach you take, ensure that it doesn’t affect them psychologically or come around as a shock.

• Prepare for Any Kind of Reactions

How your child might react is unknown; hence it is plausible to prepare yourself for any kind of reaction. They may not fathom anything after listening to this, or it might take time to settle it in.

They might randomly throw tantrums regarding various things or cry while missing you. In these cases, staying by their side as much as possible will prove to be effective and preparing them for the future is also necessary. However, whatever the scenario might be, taking your health concerns into account is also necessary.

It might not always be easy to decide on comforting words for a serious illness. You can take assistance from someone close to you while doing this. However, you can also opt for other ways that will help you feel more comfortable while sharing this news. This is so because your psychological well-being also plays a relevant factor.