What to Do If Your Partner Has a Spending Problem?

source: verywellmind

There must be only a few people who prefer to avoid splurging on their favourite things once in a while. However, the problem arises when it gets out of hand, leading to spending addiction. Dealing with people with massive spending issues can be challenging, especially when that person is your significant other. 

Here is how you can identify if your spouse spends too much money and deal with it sensitively.

Once your partner identifies a problem, you can chalk out the areas that need work and find ways to solve them that work best for you.

Here are 6 efficient ways to deal with spending addiction:

1. Sensitively Deal With the Issue

When you are discussing your partner's spending habits, understand that they have a problem and that they often do it without knowing why. Handle the situation with utmost care and concern.

Avoid confronting them accusingly or judging them about how much they spend and how bad it is. Try to understand the reason behind their reckless spending and come to a mutual understanding about how to curb them.

2. Avoid Comparing Your Spending Habits

Although the first thing you may do in your frustration is tell your partner how little you spend compared to them, it is not advisable. Everyone has different values and perceptions, and such direct comparisons exacerbate the problem.

Instead, you can use some good spending habits from your life to help set an example for them, which they can follow.

3. Discuss Big Purchases Beforehand

Creating a budget and discussing any big purchase with your partner is a great way to curb overspending.

This way, you can know if your partner is planning to spend, and you can stop them from doing that if necessary so that it does not create misunderstandings later.

4. Create Separate Budgets

One way for you and your partner to keep track of your spending is if each of you has money allocated that you can use to buy anything you want. Doing this will set strict boundaries for each of you and help you avoid conflicts.

An excellent way to do this is to give your spouse a debit card attached to a bank account with a limited amount of money so they stay within the budget.

5. Get Rid of Credit Cards

Buying things with a credit card is too easy and can be tempting to someone with a spending problem.

Consider using cash to buy things for a while until your partner learns to manage money better. Moreover, seeing exactly how much money they have will automatically stop them from being frivolous.

6. Seek Professional Help

Even after taking all the necessary steps, you can talk to a professional therapist or financial counsellor if your spouse still spends too much money. You can look for an experienced couple's therapist dealing with financial issues.

Taking help from an expert who will act as an objective third party will give your partner an unbiased opinion without hurting their feelings. Furthermore, it will allow your partner to voice their concerns without the fear of judgement.

Although it can be overwhelming when you know about your partner's overspending habits, the good news is that it is solvable. However, the first step is admitting to a problem to solve the issue from its root.

Here are eight indicators to find out how your partner is having a problem with overspending.

1. Having Hidden Purchases

People with frivolous spending habits often hide items they buy from their partners. If your spouse buys many things they do not tell you about or deliberately try to hide from you, it can indicate a problem.

2. Having Items With Tags Still on

If your partner purchases a lot of things but never uses them, it is a red flag about their money spending issue.

3. Shopping Online and Forgetting

When your partner receives a lot of surprise parcels at home, it can indicate overspending issues. This is because they may order things online on a whim and forget about the money they are spending.

4. Having Hidden Loan on Credit Card

If you constantly discover credit card loans in your spouse's name, it can mean that there is a more significant issue that you need to address. This is because it may indicate that they are shopping compulsively and not because they need it.

5. Frequently Purchasing Lots of Items

Your partner may purchase expensive stuff without discussing it with you first. However, if that happens often, it can signify spending addiction.

6. Talking Too Much About Shopping

If your significant other talks about shopping or brags about their purchases excessively to others, it indicates their unhealthy spending patterns.

7. Downplaying Purchase Amounts

While it may not seem like a big deal, if your spouse always rounds down the amount they spend on stuff. It means they are ashamed of how much money they spend but still cannot help it.

8. Avoiding Financial Discussions

If your partner has a spending problem, it is likely that they will avoid discussing it. Thus, identifying the symptoms of the problem may not just be enough, understanding the reason behind the overspending habits of your spouse is equally important.

There are psychological factors related to spending money. Apart from buying necessities, people often shop because it makes them happy. However, purchasing stuff can become an unhealthy coping mechanism for various reasons. Bad money habits can be a part of money disorders caused by underlying issues such as trauma, anxiety, depression, etc. 

Three such psychological reasons for frivolous spending can be:

1. Relational Money Disorders

A person's relations with others are the main reason for this problem. Financial infidelity is when someone hides their spending from another person, such as a partner, because of guilt. Financial enabling is when a person cannot hold other people financially responsible since they fear that the other person will misunderstand them. When someone relies on another person to meet their monetary needs, it creates financial dependence. 

2. Money Avoidance Issues

Some people consciously avoid thinking and talking about money, consider it wrong, and are in financial denial. Furthermore, apprehensive people do not trust others with their money and treat it like an extravagance, stopping them from spending for themselves.

3. Money Worshipping Disorder

There are instances when a person equates money with happiness which is a problem. Compulsive buyers often try to fix their emotional problems by purchasing stuff. Money worshippers are often compulsive hoarders, compulsive buyers and also overspenders. Financial disorders later lead to unhealthy monetary habits, which have grave consequences.

Here are six impacts overspending will have on a relationship in the long run:

1. It will accumulate debt you need to pay back later.
2. Overspending will exhaust your emergency funds. 
3. One spouse spending too much will decrease your overall savings.
4. It will leave no money to spend on fun family activities.
5. If your partner is overspending, you will have a money crunch during your retirement. 
6. When one partner consistently overspends, creating a financial crisis will create tension and destroy the relationship. 

A relationship is a two-way street which only stays functional when both partners contribute and compromise. Since finances are a vital part of a couple's future goals, an overspending person in a relationship will create frustration and resentment among their partner. This will ultimately destroy your financial stability and peace of mind. While an overspending spouse can be a burden, you can help your partner to come out of it with a practical approach.

You may be overwhelmed by your wife or husband spending too much money, but shaming them to make temporary changes in their habits is hardly the solution. Instead, be supportive and offer constructive criticism so they know why creating good money habits is in the best interests of your relationship in the long run.